Drama, thy name is Kay.

So Kay is still going on and on and on about my life.

A little about Kay: She fabricates and embellishes everything she hears. She takes third person stories as fact without ever going to the person the story is about and asking them. She makes everything her business and always has to be in control.

Kay constantly bitches about me and my relationships, claiming that I treat everyone in my life poorly. My thought on that is if I treat everyone that badly how is that I still have friends real close to me? Hmmm? Riddle me that, Kay.

She relives my past mistakes in relationships, mind you I’ve never told her anything about my relationships. I just keep wondering; if I’m so unsuccessful at any relationships, and specifically male-female dating relations, then how would she categorize her relationships? She has been broken up by, or has broken up with, every guy she’s ever dated and I am just wondering how she classifies those as a successful relationship? Again, riddle me that Kay.

Anyways, I’ve just been pondering why my personal intimate relationships are any of her business and how she is included in them when I don’t tell her anything. Just some thoughts I needed to publish.

XOXO,

Whisper

Bitches please!

So, I’m going through a pretty tough breakup and my old boyfriend has already moved on; in fact he went on a date two days after we broke up. What the fuck is up with that? You break up with someone that you told uncountable times that you love and then go on a date two days after you end the relationship?

Whatever, that’s not even what this post is about. It’s about me. Well, this whole blog is about me, really, but nevermind that.

I know that I am a strong, sexy, confident, beautiful, great catch of a woman. But the ex-girlfriend inside me has wavering faith. So this post is going to verbally bitch-slap her into common sense.

I know, she knows, everyone who meets me knows, that I am drop-dead gorgeous. This is simply fact, not me fluffing my own skirt. This point was proven today when I put on a black racer-back V-neck top and a red-dyed skirt from Mexico that makes me look like a flamenco dancer when I pair it with my sexy black 3″ heels. Which also puts me at the grand height of 6′3″. Oh, yeah; believe it. Back to me wearing this outfit to my indoor lab job, I was listen to techno-club-dance music which always makes me want to dance, thus the flamenco dancer outfit.

Well, as I was walking to work, (p.s. heels make me strut more than I normally do) there was about 7 guys across the street doing repairs on a house and when I came out of my house they all just stopped what they were doing. So I strutted more. Yeah bitches! Watch me walk away! You know you like it! Don’t you wish you could tap that?!

As shallow as it may be, it made me feel good. And with that stupid ex-girlfriend nagging my ass all day long I need to feel good about myself.

XOXO,

Whisper

Sex is not a two-way street…

I believe that. I truly do. And I know that there are plenty of people who will whole-heartedly disagree with me and in fact call me a total cock-tease and a selfish bitch. Well go ahead; because the chances of me changing your mind are greater than you changing mine. And here is why:

Sex should be comfortable and something you want to do. If you aren’t comfortable and are doing something that you would prefer not to, then you shouldn’t be having it.

The line between consensual and non-consensual sex is not a fine one. You can be raped in a relationship, you can be manipulated into doing something that you really aren’t up for. Trust me; I’ve been there. My ex would get super drunk and then push me into having sex when I said no repeatedly and then (this is something I am not proud of, but I was inexperienced with sex then and will never allow myself to be pushed like that again, ever) I eventually would give it up just to get him to shut up. My ex would push me to have sex without protection and every time I would totally be in my head just freaking out and I never orgasmed. Never, not once when there was no condom involved. He drunkenly propositioned two of my friends to join us in the bedroom for a threesome and then very soberly brought it up to me again and again. And then he constantly pushed my head towards his cock trying to get me to suck him off, when clearly I wasn’t comfortable or ready for it. And I told him that, repeatedly, but he just smiled like the motherfucker that he is and would do it the next time we fooled around.

Maybe my ex was just the icing on the cake for me, but I’ve probably always been this way. I have never asked someone to go down on me, as pleasurable as it is. Therefore when they do I have never felt the need to reciprocate. When I do give my boyfriend blow jobs, and I give a damn good blow job, I do it because I want to, not because I feel it is deserved. Do not get me wrong, I love going down on him; he has such a nice cock that it would be a shame not to love it with every inch of my being. Oh God I love the way he tastes and feels, his cock is so pretty and fills my mouth so fully, it’s so soft and so perfect….mmmmm……

Where was I? Oh, yes. I go down on him because I want to, because I like it. And as much as I love him down in my business, I don’t ever feel that just because I lick his cock he should lick my cunt. THAT IS NOT THE WAY SEX GOES, PEOPLE!!

Sex should always, always be comfortable and whatever you do should be because you want to. I have previously mentioned that I am the most sex smart out of all my friends and one of the reasons is this:

I have a friend who has sex with men that she has known for three days and then calls them ‘assholes’ when they do it for a week and a half and then never call her again. Well, sweetie when you give it up so fast the only thing that they will see you as is a good lay, an object; and then once they find someone they actually do like they will leave you in less than a heartbeat. And the sad thing about it is; she recognizes it! To a point at least, she believes that sex will buy her love. But to top it all off, not only does she have tons of promiscuous sex, she does it without protection! Yes, sex without condoms is supposed to feel sooooo much better but, like I said I can’t do it because I freak out about pregnancy. I know that she is a consenting adult, in both the intercourse and the oral, but she is doing it for the wrong reasons.

Again, never, ever, ever, ever allow someone to put you in a position that you aren’t comfortable in. Stand up for yourself, and don’t be afraid to speak your mind when it comes to your body and your wishes.

My purpose in this post isn’t to persuade anyone into changing their minds about sex etiquette and like I said, no one will change my mind; but my point is that whatever you do in sex, you should be comfortable about it and it should be something that you want to do, not something you feel obligated to do.

Here’s to standing up for yourself, being strong, courageous, and above all, being true to yourself; even if it means being called a teasing bitch whore along the way. Because you won’t stand alone.

The Triad

A ‘White’ Concept

I read an article in my college’s daily school news paper and it infuriated me! It was all about a party that happened over the weekend and how it was hosted by a gay ‘white’ person. The author ranted about how ‘white’ people dominate everything and that ‘white’ people are big, fat racists who rule the world.

And while it may be true that ‘white’ people are the dominate ‘race’….

STOP FUCKING CALLING ME WHITE!!!!!!

Damnit if I have to be Politically Correct all the time and call ‘black’ people African American, or ‘Indians’ Native American, then I too want to be called the PC version of Caucasian, which is European American.

It is so ironic and hypocritical of all these different people who are claiming that gays, lesbians, homosexuals, transsexuals, and all people of color need to ban together and stand up against prejudice and racism are the ones that are actually being prejudice and racist. Look at the negative connotation that the word ‘white’ presents. When I hear someone say any comment about ‘white’ people all I think is: old time bigotry.

And screw you for lumping me in with people from 56 years ago, who are you to judge me and label me with such a negative word. You don’t know me, you don’t know what kind of judgment I’ve faced. The fact that you are African American or Irish American, or Native American makes no difference in your hardships. I came from a lower middle class family and am putting myself through college. And I happen to be almost half Native American, which means that technically I should be getting funded by the US government but I can’t because my ancestors wouldn’t talk about their Native heritage and thus I can’t affiliate myself with a tribe. And the fact that I even go to the length to say that I am ‘half’ something absolutely disgusts me. I despise what my home country has come to; an overly safe, don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, make everyone happy, PC bullshit spewing monster.

When asked ‘what’ I am is say ‘American’ because there is no fucking way that your mother’s vagina could span the length of ocean from here to Africa; which is what it would have to do for you to actually be African American. And no, I am NOT attacking African Americans, this concept could be used for anyone who labels themselves with more than one nationality. And the term nationality is even screwed up now, now your nationality is the color of your skin. How dumb is that? When did ‘Alaskan Native’ become a country? Yes, America is the country where you can bring your homeland and still be proud of where you came from and you can become a person of America, but seriously if you immigrate here don’t try to change this country, become part of it. I love learning about other countries and their beliefs and customs but don’t try to make it part of my customs and beliefs.

I mean this prejudice against ‘white’ people is everywhere, it’s on the exam scantrons that I have to write on for college tests, it’s in the newspaper at my college, it’s during Black History month, it’s during GLBT celebration week. And I am not saying that any of these things are bad but that I have yet to see a Straight Pride week, or a ‘White’ History month. It seems that everywhere we need to be aware and supportive of every other ‘race’ or gender but that European Americans or straight people are now being overlooked.

So you’re gay and proud of it; good for you, go ahead and stand up for yourself; but don’t try and force it on me and tell me that I have to be supportive too. I don’t have a problem with you being gay and you would have found that out if you had simply asked me instead of assuming that just because I am straight I am against you being gay*.

‘Race’ is one of the worst and segregating terms that I can conjure. If America used to be called a ‘melting pot’ and is now called a ‘tossed salad,’ then why is it all I can see is it being like a plate of totally different food where non of it is allowed to touch because, Heaven forbid one food might contaminate another. Walt Whitman has been called ‘America’s Poet’ and if you read ‘Song of Myself’ you might understand why. Whitman says that all the immigrants and non-immigrants have jobs, they all work to provide for their family, and as diverse as each individual is and each of their jobs are, at the end of the day one husband lays down next to his wife in the same manner that another husband lays down next to his wife. Whitman goes on to explain how each state is diverse and has a different culture, but together they make up what is America.

So, as far as I am concerned race doesn’t exist and nationality depends on what country you are a citizen of, not be based on the color of your skin. But as long as people are still referring to themselves as Irish American because their great-great-great-great-grandmother immigrated to America are going to claim to be Irish, then I will correct people for calling me ‘white’ and simply remind them to call me European American and inform them that they are lucky I don’t require them to call me by every country that any relative of mine might have come from. And trust me it would be long if I did.

*Again I am not attacking any sexual preference, this too can be applied to anyone arguing ‘race’ or any other sexual preference.

Trust?

So you found me. Why couldn’t you just ask me? Why did you have to sneak behind my back? You say that you are just curious about what I find interesting but you’ve known me for months; don’t you know by now? Why couldn’t you have had the courage to just ask me about this. I would have told you, you didn’t need to go and do that.

And you tried to hide that you did it from me. I asked and you said that it was something else, you tried to keep me from knowing that you found me. That’s what upset me, I don’t care that you have found me, I care that you weren’t honest when you got caught.

You say you want to know what stuff I like and what this is about. I like you and this is sometimes about what I want and like to do with you. But it is more than that, it is my excess. Everything I think and can’t tell anyone, or rants and raves about things that annoy me. Like what you did.

How can I trust you now? You didn’t trust me enough to be honest with you about this; how can I know that you are being honest with me now? What got into you? Where did you go to brain school? Had the thought ever occurred to you that this might just be a story? That is one of the attractive things about these, you never know if it is real or not, it always keeps you wanting more. You become thirsty for it, you need it. Why did you have to go and touch it? You ruined the illusion.

I just don’t understand, are you insecure? are you afraid of what is there? What? Help me to understand, I have a need to know.

Whisper and the Scourge