I beat you! AHAHAHAHA!

Her- 44
Me- 46
Her- 3
Me- 15

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *maniac laughter*

I…

I want to fall in love.

I miss that feeling of feeling whole with another being. I feel like a whole person by myself, but it’s…..different.

A feeling of completeness.

I miss that feeling.

I can’t even express how much I miss that feeling. I haven’t felt that way since J.

I miss that feeling.

Heart smiles.

That’s what that feeling is.

I miss that feeling.

http://www.modelmayhem.com/pic.php?pid=7769193

http://www.modelmayhem.com/pic.php?pid=4068041

http://www.modelmayhem.com/pic.php?pid=6593640

Whisper

P.S. Yes, these photos are off modelmayhem.com. And yes, I am on there; find me….if you can….

Sorry:(

I know that I’ve been very boring in the sex department or even just in the writing about my life department, but school comes first. Even though I should be the one coming first:)

Shortest of short updates: C and I broke up; I can’t be tamed and he can’t run wild with me. The break up was mutual, but today I had an amazing epiphany about him: He doesn’t reside in my heart anymore, and it brings me content.

I promise that as soon as I have time I will update you on what’s been going on, but here’s a hint: sexual activity while driving. Did I mention that I was the driver?

Drama, thy name is Kay.

So Kay is still going on and on and on about my life.

A little about Kay: She fabricates and embellishes everything she hears. She takes third person stories as fact without ever going to the person the story is about and asking them. She makes everything her business and always has to be in control.

Kay constantly bitches about me and my relationships, claiming that I treat everyone in my life poorly. My thought on that is if I treat everyone that badly how is that I still have friends real close to me? Hmmm? Riddle me that, Kay.

She relives my past mistakes in relationships, mind you I’ve never told her anything about my relationships. I just keep wondering; if I’m so unsuccessful at any relationships, and specifically male-female dating relations, then how would she categorize her relationships? She has been broken up by, or has broken up with, every guy she’s ever dated and I am just wondering how she classifies those as a successful relationship? Again, riddle me that Kay.

Anyways, I’ve just been pondering why my personal intimate relationships are any of her business and how she is included in them when I don’t tell her anything. Just some thoughts I needed to publish.

XOXO,

Whisper

Update

Decided to stop being nice and start being real (I sound like I should be on ‘The Real World’) but instead of trying to save face and play nice; I’m going to say ‘fuck it’ and say what I really feel.

So fuck this whole giving people in my life nicknames, I’m just going to use a single letter that will identify them to me in some way. It may be their first initial, last initial, or just the first letter of some character identifying trait that reminds me of them.

Thus, First Love is just J and so on and so forth.

But I’m so sick of feeling like I need to protect myself, even on here where no one knows me, my real name, where I live, what I do, who I truly am, etc.

I’m going to start being real.

XOXO,

Whisper

Sheeeeeeee’s Baaaaaaaaaaaack!!!

Hello all!

Your favorite, little sexcapade enthusiast is back! The reason for my not posting all this time is because I was without Internet for 3 1/2 months! I know, right?! How on earth did I survive!!!!

But the good news is that my little, ole’ blog still got plenty of action (as well as myself, teehee)

Well, readers; here’s to hoping for future shenanigans!

XOXO,

Whisper

Five Fact Friday Update

I realize that I haven’t posted any F.F.F. in about a month and since there still isn’t anything particularly interesting going on in my life I will just post all the missing F.F.F.s. One on each day until it is all made up, starting tomorrow.

I know, but what are you going to do?

XOXO,

Whisper

Letting go

I think I’ve finally let First Love go. This last week he was talking to me and suddenly out of nowhere stated that because I didn’t like ‘Family Guy’ and Will Farrel we would never had worked out. He was trying to make a joke but that joke will never be alright with me and even if it will it was way too soon. I got so aggravated with him that I just stood up and left without a word. It was either that or I just lunge at him with a backhand then calmly sit back down.

But whatever, he is a jackass and I’ve always said that. Even when I was in love I told him that he was a jackass, but it was only when he was having a jackass moment.

As I was talking to a friend today, via text but still a meaningful conversation, and I told him that First Love left because he has low self esteem and is now dating someone who is more his equal. And as I’ve said since the moment it happened, it’s all him, none of it was me.

Actually saying those words and believing them, I realize that all those times when he told me that he wasn’t good enough for me, drunk or sober, he was right. In every way he was perfect for me except for the self esteem level and drive/determination/strength. He probably did me a favor, because even though I still can’t see it, he probably would have brought me down sooner or later with the lack of self esteem from him.

It also occurred to me that he is using his new little girl thing; he sees her as someone who has the same level of self esteem, drive, determination, strength as himself and she is just the poor schmuck that happens to satisfy those needs. He needs to feel good about himself and so he is dating her because he feels better when he’s with her.

I know that I seem to keep going on and on about this past relationship but remember, just as I have to keep reminding myself, that it has only been a month and I was in love, as well as it being so sudden. But I’m getting better and I’m ready to start dating again but just need a person to date.

Until then,

‘Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they’re supposed to run wild until they find someone, just as wild, to run with.’ *Carrie Bradshaw*

Growing up

I am just a poor college student and so I bike everywhere, plus it’s good for my waistline. Seriously though, I’ve started to drop a few micrometers from around my middle. Anyways as I was biking home today from a friends house I took a new route that led through some back roads(ish) and saw so many cute houses!

I want one! I don’t care if I don’t get to own it, because I don’t need to own a house right now, but I will be moving in a few months and I want to live in a house. A house that I will be staying at for a long period of time, more than a year. I want a place that I can decorate and make homey and call ‘home’, because home isn’t just a roof with four walls and a foundation, that’s a house, ‘home’ is all that plus the emotional attachments that are there too.

I think I’m beginning to grow up….*gasps*

Recently

There has been nothing interesting going on in my life and I am so busy with classes, work, and my tan that I haven’t had a chance to get a good thought for a story/fantasy to emerge. But I’m still here, just inactive; both writing-wise and sexually.

XOXO,

Whisper