Sex is not a two-way street…

I believe that. I truly do. And I know that there are plenty of people who will whole-heartedly disagree with me and in fact call me a total cock-tease and a selfish bitch. Well go ahead; because the chances of me changing your mind are greater than you changing mine. And here is why:

Sex should be comfortable and something you want to do. If you aren’t comfortable and are doing something that you would prefer not to, then you shouldn’t be having it.

The line between consensual and non-consensual sex is not a fine one. You can be raped in a relationship, you can be manipulated into doing something that you really aren’t up for. Trust me; I’ve been there. My ex would get super drunk and then push me into having sex when I said no repeatedly and then (this is something I am not proud of, but I was inexperienced with sex then and will never allow myself to be pushed like that again, ever) I eventually would give it up just to get him to shut up. My ex would push me to have sex without protection and every time I would totally be in my head just freaking out and I never orgasmed. Never, not once when there was no condom involved. He drunkenly propositioned two of my friends to join us in the bedroom for a threesome and then very soberly brought it up to me again and again. And then he constantly pushed my head towards his cock trying to get me to suck him off, when clearly I wasn’t comfortable or ready for it. And I told him that, repeatedly, but he just smiled like the motherfucker that he is and would do it the next time we fooled around.

Maybe my ex was just the icing on the cake for me, but I’ve probably always been this way. I have never asked someone to go down on me, as pleasurable as it is. Therefore when they do I have never felt the need to reciprocate. When I do give my boyfriend blow jobs, and I give a damn good blow job, I do it because I want to, not because I feel it is deserved. Do not get me wrong, I love going down on him; he has such a nice cock that it would be a shame not to love it with every inch of my being. Oh God I love the way he tastes and feels, his cock is so pretty and fills my mouth so fully, it’s so soft and so perfect….mmmmm……

Where was I? Oh, yes. I go down on him because I want to, because I like it. And as much as I love him down in my business, I don’t ever feel that just because I lick his cock he should lick my cunt. THAT IS NOT THE WAY SEX GOES, PEOPLE!!

Sex should always, always be comfortable and whatever you do should be because you want to. I have previously mentioned that I am the most sex smart out of all my friends and one of the reasons is this:

I have a friend who has sex with men that she has known for three days and then calls them ‘assholes’ when they do it for a week and a half and then never call her again. Well, sweetie when you give it up so fast the only thing that they will see you as is a good lay, an object; and then once they find someone they actually do like they will leave you in less than a heartbeat. And the sad thing about it is; she recognizes it! To a point at least, she believes that sex will buy her love. But to top it all off, not only does she have tons of promiscuous sex, she does it without protection! Yes, sex without condoms is supposed to feel sooooo much better but, like I said I can’t do it because I freak out about pregnancy. I know that she is a consenting adult, in both the intercourse and the oral, but she is doing it for the wrong reasons.

Again, never, ever, ever, ever allow someone to put you in a position that you aren’t comfortable in. Stand up for yourself, and don’t be afraid to speak your mind when it comes to your body and your wishes.

My purpose in this post isn’t to persuade anyone into changing their minds about sex etiquette and like I said, no one will change my mind; but my point is that whatever you do in sex, you should be comfortable about it and it should be something that you want to do, not something you feel obligated to do.

Here’s to standing up for yourself, being strong, courageous, and above all, being true to yourself; even if it means being called a teasing bitch whore along the way. Because you won’t stand alone.

The Triad